Because I am.
Because I avoid making eye contact with normal-looking couples.
Because Janis Joplin said freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose but she was a hypocrite and an alcoholic.
Because he called me crying from his iPhone, telling me not to forget about him. Because I still haven’t.
Because there is no one to talk to on Sunday nights when I am tired of Facebook. Because of the picture of two people I miss posing in front of a double rainbow with a happy-looking girl from Illinois. Because she looks like she realizes how amazing they are.
Because when he asked me if my past relationships were good I only nodded. Because I lied to him about how long it has been. Because there have been times that I don’t count. Because there is the chance he doesn’t care.
Because I am self-conscious around people I am attracted to. Because I smoke too many cigarettes. Because it is still winter. Because I don’t have anyone besides myself to plan for.
Because I have been so happy.